I thought I was the only person in the world that felt the way I did, but now I see that many teenagers felt the same way as I did and teenagers in the future will continue to feel this way. It is my hopes that through this class and this blog that I can inform others that teenagers are not the negative creatures society has made them out to be, and these negative labels only perpetuate this image and stifle our youth.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
when i was thirteen...
When i was thirteen I was considered an average teen, but it certainly didn't feel like it to me at the time. I felt socially awkward, fat, ugly, and totally under appreciated by the rest of the world. All I heard about was how horrible teenagers were, but I did not fill the stereotypical mold of a teenager. At thirteen I was the vice president of my local 4-H club and I was optimistic about saving the world and helping my community. I participated in leadership conferences and was ready to get out and explore the world, but my mother had another plan for me. I was brought up in a very overprotective household with a mother who had control issues (that I have realized I myself have inherited). At thirteen I felt I was ready to venture from the nest and start experiencing the world, but instead I was sheltered from it. Being sheltered and held back wasn't in my plans and I began to rebel against my upbringing. I began to lie, sneak out, and experiment with drugs and alcohol. Saving the world became less important as rebelling my parents tyrannical rule began to take up more and more of my time. By trying so hard to rebel against my parents I began to conform to the labels and stereotypes I once had intentions of breaking.
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I have tried to understand the connection between overprotective parents and rebellion....i find it very complex and profound. I did not grow up with overprotected parents and never really understood what that meant until I begun exploring it as an adult..... I hope to learn even more from you this semester about how these experiences shaped who you are as an adult. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteKayla,
ReplyDeleteYou at 13 was me at 16. It's so easy for young kids to know the rules and want to break them. I think teens issues tend to be seen as only 'teen issues' when these problems are shared between kids and their guardians or parents. I believe if a teen rebels both the child and the parent are responsible most likely because of lack of communication. You definitely aren't alone in your experience. Rock on girl!
Your entry made me think about how I grew up and how I raise my teenage daughters now. I grew up in a house of "free spirits". There were no boundaries...lots of love...and many adventures. As children, we did not "fly" too far because there was nothing holding us back. In hindsight, I wish we had a little more structure. When I married, I thought I was marrying a rebel, a black sheep of his ultra-conservative family. Well, within a few years (once he was a married man) his family welcomed him back into the folds and he changed. Three daughters later (and many mistakes later) we have developed a way of parenting our children: a combination of both styles. I like to think that we give our teenagers freedom, yet at the same time we know where they are. Can this balance of parenting change?...absolutely. I think there are no "absolutes" about raising teens, except that element of change. Thanks for sharing your experience Kayla and also for responding to my post.
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